To 2015!

Happy 2015 friends! The best thing about today? You all get to open up your new TFA calendars to January and start enjoying the colourful, yarn-filled pages! Above is the January 2015 calendar page. Here's to starting the year off on the right foot (a blue/turquoise foot naturally...)

2014 was a great year. I almost feel guilty writing that because the general consensus seems to be that 2014 sucked. But not for us, for us, it was amazing. 2013 was the year we had a baby and our world exploded in amazing and challenging and incredible ways that were impossible to prepare for. I haven't really talked about how hard I found life with a newborn. I always knew that I wanted to be a mother, I had a terrific pregnancy with Rowan and was so excited about Chris and I becoming parents. I had a relatively easy delivery, the first few days were blissful, and then reality sunk in. Rowan was a colicky baby. Yikes! Just typing that sentence gives me the shivers. For months he was either sleeping or he was screaming. Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I've ever done but also the biggest hurdle I've ever overcome, which makes me incredibly proud. In his first few months Rowan always looked slightly distressed and I'm sure that I looked even more distressed. It was incredibly difficult for me. Motherhood was not the peaceful, rocking and nursing reality that I had been imagining. My baby was beside himself and I couldn't console him. I had no idea when or if it would end and I thought that this was just what parenting was like. 

I bring this up, over a year later, only because I look at my happy, easy, beautiful baby boy now and I can't believe how much we've both changed. 2014 was the year that we got a grip and really sunk into life as a family. This is what I thought motherhood would be like and it's fabulous. We will be heading into newborn territory once again in a few short months with the arrival of our second child so when I look ahead to 2015 I can't help but think back to 2013 when we were in a similar position but such a dramatically different mindset. Having survived it once, I feel so much more capable of preparing for our new baby's arrival. Having my first baby feels a bit like having earned a masters degree, now I get to put that education to good use when baby #2 arrives! 

Every year when it comes time to do a "year in review/new years goals" blog post I find myself saying the same thing, that I don't make new years resolutions, but rather have the same, simple goal year in and year out: to be present, to ride the waves of inspiration as they come to me and to do what feels right for the moment. In 2014 I really did that and I think that played a big role in why it was such a great year. 

What does this all have to do with TFA? Honestly, nothing and everything all at once. I'm sure that there will be periods where I'm quieter online and maybe I won't be quite as prolific with my blog posts and pattern publishing for a while, but creativity ebbs and flows naturally every year and it's not something that I'm worried about. We'll plan ahead, I'll never stop knitting and life will go on as usual. TFA is our life, all this work/life balance nonsense doesn't really exist for us. We've accepted it and are happy to earn a living doing something that just feels like "living" to us. 

There is lots of talk about the world of blogging changing, and I think we all feel it. I've definitely felt a shift in my own blogging style (even though I swore that I would never change!) with my relatively recent addiction to Instagram and how quickly and effectively I can communicate with my followers on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook with the click of a button. I reach more people much quicker that way and it's an outlet that I love and find inspiring and use everyday. In the past I might post a picture of a potential colour combination on my blog, but now those types of posts typically get sent out immediately and directly through my other social media channels. So, I guess I have changed and in the back of my mind I've been struggling with it. But my dear, beloved blog, the other night I came to the realization that this change is a very good thing because it frees up the blog to truly be my personal space. 

Over time, as TFA has grown, I've felt like the personal blog that I started years ago before I sold a single skein of yarn was morphing into a promotional tool for TFA. It's a reality that I have a hard time feeling badly about since, as I've already mentioned, I am TFA, so naturally my personal blog is going to reflect that and the TFA blog is going to reflect me - and they are the same thing. Is this confusing enough for you? I don't keep a journal and I've been terrible about jotting down milestones in Rowan's life, but I've always had this blog as a vehicle that fills that space for me. Going back through the blog archives is like reliving the past for me in so many ways. I often remember a specific event by what was on my needles at the time, so WIP and FO posts always take me back. And then there are the personal posts that I've peppered in there, those are the ones that I really like, the ones that make me feel like I'm doing more than blabbing about how much I love the colour blue, but that I'm actually documenting a moment. I recently looked back over the blog posts dating from the day I announced my pregnancy with Rowan right up until I announced his birth. I don't think that there was a single post in those almost 6 months that didn't somehow reference the baby.  

With so many social media outlets at my finger tips I've struggled trying to figure out where those personal moments fit in. I think that for me, this blog is it. For 2015 I'm going to make it a priority to continue to share moments in our lives. This is the space where I can let it all out (in way more than 140 characters). Where I can be open and honest and talk about my colicky baby or go on and on about socks. A space where, frankly, I don't think as many people are visiting so being self conscious about my posts is completely useless. Most of what goes on in my head is centred around rainbows and yarn, so don't worry that this space is going to loose any knitting content! I'll absolutely continue to post all our TFA news here, I'm just also going to make an effort to post about other things too. And to post more thoughtfully. Maybe less often, but with more considered content.  

I would love for 2015 to be the year that I sew more, that I spin more, maybe even the year that I pick up a needlepoint or a paintbrush! Those are lofty goals for a woman who's free time is about to go from scarce to non-existent. But it's nice to have dreams. And to share them. Here. On my blog. :)

2014 - you were amazing. I started off the year predicting that you were gonna rock, and you really nailed it. I'm ending off the year feeling happy and balanced.

2015 - I know you've got a lot in store for us and I can't wait to meet it all head on.